Just Venting..

I really am writing this for myself, so hopefully none of you will be offended. Here it is 11:00 pm and I am sitting on my couch finding myself in a rather stew-ing mood. (how the heck do you spell that, and is it really a word?) anyway, maybe it's wrong to be a little urked by my current situation and vent about it on the internet, but writing a blog is sometimes therapeutic. I dont even think anyone really reads my blogs anyway, so oh well.

There are a few things on my mind.

#1. My current work situation. - I sort of feel like I am getting screwed over. Yes, indeed. I know that when I agreed to do full time accounting that I would only be doing it for the summer as full time since I have school starting up in the fall. Well, I also know they asked a girl to fill that desk once I am gone. *which is fine with me!!* However, I hate how they are trying to be all sneaky with the situation and trying to hide it from me. They usually slip by saying things like, "we are letting so-and-so apply...uh, i mean you AND so-and-so can apply for the position. WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! I am ALREADY working the position, why would I have to reapply for a job I'm already doing??? Oh wait, because they want the other girl in there. See, I really don't mind at all with the girl because she is smart, I just hate how the upper management thinks that they are totally getting by with things. GRRRR...well to make things worse, I was super sure that I was working full time until the end of Aug just before school starts.....WELL I was informed today that in the first week of Aug I am pretty much going back to being a student worker..(which was already assumed by my boss because today she said, are you ready to be back to a partime student worker?) Reason being, because the other girl will be done with the semester then, so its like they want me to get out of there ASAP. But I am just upset because they are always telling me what a good job I am doing. what CRAP. I thought she said I could apply?? I dunno, it seems like a stupid situation and I shouldn't care, but it just urkes me that people just have to play the B.S. game, ya know? It is aggravating, and I wish people were more up front. ALSO, I will be screwed if I don't get another job by Aug. because going back to $7.50 an hours SUCKS HARD CORE!!! I can't pay my rent on that! AAAAnyway...I guess I am just urked at how it has been handled, and how I feel like I am not important enough, when I know I get all my stuff done, even ahead of everyone else and I just get looked past. :0( My boss even wrote up a huge thing about how good I am in this position...what the H-? Well, anyway I am going to try to find a second job that will pay decent so I can make extra money.

#2. Because I will be short a full time job in Aug, alot of the projects I wanted to do are SOL for a while. The road-trip I wanted to plan to Nauvoo might be out because of money, and the little projects I wanted to work on at home have to wait even longer. GRRRR

#3. I love how I am so clueless sometimes. I never pick up on other peoples signals, even when they are pretty obvious. Sometimes I think too logically without thinking beyond reason. I guess its because I have dated some guys who are very logical, and I adapted. I haven't always been so logical about everything, especially in relationships. I love to be that hopeless romantic, but I haven't really had a normal guy who is sorta the same way. Instead I usually get the guys who are very analytical about EVERYTHING and aren't the romantics. I honestly, and I am being honest, wouldn't want someone falling all over me, but a nice comment now and then is always reassuring, and very sweet. I just think it is so important to show you love and interest in small ways because they mean alot. Again, I am sorta clueless though, when guys drop hints they are interested, I usually see RIGHT past it and I almost give the other person a sense that I am not interested, when I TOTALLY am!! This has happened 2 x's now. GRR...then I usually look like a complete dork by texting or calling WAY too much because I am afraid that he doesn't think I am interested so I wanna show I am..but its over the top. LOL

#4. Yes, my time will come. Yes, it will come when I least expect it. But I wish it would happen sooner rather than later. LOL. Ok so I guess the marriage bug has sorta bit me. Just seeing all my wonderful friends married and happy is just an exciting feeling! However, when you are hanging out with them as a single person, you can't help but have the thought of how nice it would be if you had a husband with you too! lol. I don't want to rush it at ALL, but it would be nice to meet Mr. Right soon. Just so I can start to work on the relationship. LOL. I may sound desperate to some of you, (if anyone even reads this..) but its not desperation, again Im in no rush!!!! I can honestly say in confidence that most girls, or some guys for that matter feel the same way I do. I just hope my cluelessness will ease up and I can be more on top of things. LOL

Ok, so I just vented, and I honestly feel so much better! Sorry to be so negative today, but I had to get it out!!!