I can't wait to get out of here.

enough said. hello europe...can you get here any sooner?

Getting Ready

Wow, I haven't blogged here in a little bit, so I guess as I have a little free time on my hands I will. As most of you know I am moving to Switzerland in Sept. for a whole YEAR! Crazy stuff. I never thought that I would actually be living in Europe, and a year for that matter, but here I am going with the flow. Ever since I had the feeling to put my name on the Aupair website, everything has fallen into place, continuously. First, my family contacted me the very next day and we got that put together very quick. My dad offered to pay for the ticket over to Europe and is also paying money to fix my car so I can sell it, and letting ME keep the money. Amazing. My mom is even cool with the idea...but I can't lie and say she was the whole time. At first she seemed really upset, but as I explained more about the family, etc, she is now excited for me. I am looking for someone to rent my apartment for a year, and hopefully I can get by with this and be able to move back in here next year. It is going to be a tough call as I am going to have to call my landlord soon to tell him the news and see what he thinks. Also, like I mentioned we are selling my car. It's a 2001 Ford Focus ZX3 and I am hoping to sell it for $5500 but we will see how that goes. It isn't in PERFECT condition, it has some scratches on the bumper from the previous owner, but everything else should be in tip top shape! One thing however that I am EXTREMELY nervous about is my cat, Bella. She is AMAZING...the best cat I ever had and I have to give her away and hopefully to someone I know for a year that will let me have her back when I get back. So far both parents are not allowed to have cats, and I have posted a ad on facebook, so I really hope to find her a good home soon.
As for other things, I really should just chill out. Like I said everything is falling into place and I really have to go with the flow. I was given a blessing the other day and I really get the feeling I will be doing some missionary work there in Switzerland..we will see. :0) I think this is my "unofficial" mission.
Anyway, lots of stuff going on...just trying to make sure everything falls into place.

Amazing Love

I want this kind of love.. :0)

THE LUCKIEST- Ben Folds

I don't get many things right the first time
In fact, I am told that a lot
Now I know all the wrong turns, the stumbles and falls
Brought me hereAnd where was I before the day
That I first saw your lovely face?
Now I see it everyday
And I know
That I am
I amI am
The luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you
In a house on a street where you lived?
Maybe I'd be outside as you passed on your bike
Would I know?
And in a wide sea of eyes
I see one pair that I recognize
And I know
That I am
I amI am
The luckiest
I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you
Next door there's an old man who lived to his nineties
And one day passed away in his sleep
And his wife; she stayed for a couple of days
And passed away
I'm sorry, I know that's a strange way to tell you that I know we belong
That I know
That I am
I amI am
The luckiest.......

Love is a Battlefield

Yes, its true. Pat Benatar speaks the truth. At least for me, it really seems that way.

Thankful

Hello, one and all! Today feels like a special day to blog for me. Today I am in a place where I could choose to be upset if I wanted to. I have multiple things taking place this week that really could be upsetting, one for example my ex-missionary is getting married tomorrow??! Well, instead of choosing to be upset, I choose to be thankful.

I have been going through quite a bit in my life lately, and I am sure I have lots more to go through, but one thing is constant, the love of my Savior for me. I should indeed be grateful to know that he is watching over me and making sure that I am having the best for my life. Of course at times it may not seem like its the best, but in the end it really turns out for the best. For instance, the missionary, he is DEFINETLY not the one for me, and I just didn't see it beforehand. The Lord really looked out for me there, and I know that there is someone better for me waiting. I also know that as I may seem impatient to meet this wonderful guy, the Lord will direct me to him when the time is right. Maybe I need more prep time, or maybe my man needs some prep time, but either way, I know that if I keep my faith in my Savior things will always work out the way they need to.

I have been struggling to keep this idea alive for a while, but as I woke up this morning, I cant even begin to express my love, and appreciation for the Lord and his direction in my life. I pray that I can continue being strong in this idea, as it is very comforting to know that you are being watched over by someone who loves YOU the VERY most. In this picture, I truly feel like the Lamb he is holding..

Some things I am thankful for:

My family- even though there are tough spots, I still love them with all my heart. I sometimes forget how much they love me and I get caught up in myself too much. One of my goals this summer is to show them that I love them with all my heart.

My friends- I have all sorts of friends from different places in the world and places in beliefs, places in life, etc. But I love EACH and EVERY one of them. I know that everyone has something to teach one another and I am so grateful for all the wonderful times I have with each and every one of my friends.

My ability to be mobile- Having a father who has Multiple Sclerosis really makes you think. I love him so much, and to see how this disease effects him on a day to day level really makes you become grateful for the simple abilities, such as being able to stand on my own! I am so grateful because I can still do those things to help me from day to day such as going to work, run, cook, clean, etc. These are all VERY simple things and yet can be taken away so quickly. BE GRATEFUL FOR THE SMALL STUFF!

(Maybe I will write a book, it will be called that.)

Last and NOT least!!

My Savior- I am so grateful to know that whatever I have been through in life, no matter the choices I have made, that my Savior will ALWAYS be there for me. What a miracle! What a promise! I am sure the Lord has to be very patient with me, and yet I am so grateful that He is. I am grateful for all those things that come with loving my Savior, especially my feelings. I have never experienced greater joy, happiness and love when corresponding with and reading and learning about our Savior.

Well, those are just a few things of what I am grateful for. I have never really been so vocal about my religion or my feelings for the Savior until now. I figure that, it really doesn't matter what others may feel about Him, I know how I FEEL about him and thats what matters most to me.

We are all truly blessed day to day.

'Dancing in the Rain'

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.
As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said,
'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought,'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.
The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.
'Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
but how to dance in the rain.'

Am I Ready for the Game?

What's up? So as I have been working today I have alot on my mind I would like to just randomly blog about. The title is am I ready for the game? Which game might I be talking about? The dating game, more directly, am I ready for the competition game? I am definetly one who loves competition with other girls, however, not in the dating world. I love to play one on one basketball, singing, piano, you name it, when it comes to the same sex, I am DEFINETLY competitive. Something about slamming the other girl down is gratifying for me...(I know that's sorta bad..) but c'mon, you can't say that it isn't that way for anyone who plays against the same sex. ANYWAY..it just becomes a different world when it is dating. I see these really ridiculous shows about dating where there are 3 girls and they compete for one guy. They start to look so stupid and childish! I guess I fear of falling into something like that. Maybe I am old fashioned, but I would like to think I am old fashioned with a twist of being really modern. Yeah, that sounds strange, but let me explain. I like to chase..A LITTLE! But I usually back off when I think its the guys turn to show interest and pursue, ESPECIALLY if he has alot of different girls on the chase for him.

Goodbye...It's Finally OVER..

Three posts in one day. Wow.

So many different thoughts running through my head. I dont think I have ever felt so betrayed, and upset in my whole life than now. I loved you so much, would do anything for you, drove thousands of miles for you, so that you can put me off for your "friends" until 10pm and not even leave to come here until then. It isn't worth it. I am fed up with your walking all over me and treating me like crap. I am finally taking a stand. Yeah I feel bad for hanging up on you and telling you to turn back, because deep down inside I wanted you to come..but I have to respect myself. It's over now. No more goodbyes, because I don't even want to give you that after what you have done to me. One of THE most important things in my life is about to happen tomorrow and you can't even make an effort to be here for me when I need you the most.

Thanks to Tiff I did it too!

My age next birthday:

My favorite Holiday

My favorite Food

My favorite Color

My Middle Name:

My Major

A Place I want to Visit

One of my Favorite Places

Bad Habit of Mine

My favorite Animal

Crazy Hair!!!!!

Hey.....so I wanted to post these because they are cool...Enjoy!

Just Venting..

I really am writing this for myself, so hopefully none of you will be offended. Here it is 11:00 pm and I am sitting on my couch finding myself in a rather stew-ing mood. (how the heck do you spell that, and is it really a word?) anyway, maybe it's wrong to be a little urked by my current situation and vent about it on the internet, but writing a blog is sometimes therapeutic. I dont even think anyone really reads my blogs anyway, so oh well.

There are a few things on my mind.

#1. My current work situation. - I sort of feel like I am getting screwed over. Yes, indeed. I know that when I agreed to do full time accounting that I would only be doing it for the summer as full time since I have school starting up in the fall. Well, I also know they asked a girl to fill that desk once I am gone. *which is fine with me!!* However, I hate how they are trying to be all sneaky with the situation and trying to hide it from me. They usually slip by saying things like, "we are letting so-and-so apply...uh, i mean you AND so-and-so can apply for the position. WAIT WAIT WAIT!!! I am ALREADY working the position, why would I have to reapply for a job I'm already doing??? Oh wait, because they want the other girl in there. See, I really don't mind at all with the girl because she is smart, I just hate how the upper management thinks that they are totally getting by with things. GRRRR...well to make things worse, I was super sure that I was working full time until the end of Aug just before school starts.....WELL I was informed today that in the first week of Aug I am pretty much going back to being a student worker..(which was already assumed by my boss because today she said, are you ready to be back to a partime student worker?) Reason being, because the other girl will be done with the semester then, so its like they want me to get out of there ASAP. But I am just upset because they are always telling me what a good job I am doing. what CRAP. I thought she said I could apply?? I dunno, it seems like a stupid situation and I shouldn't care, but it just urkes me that people just have to play the B.S. game, ya know? It is aggravating, and I wish people were more up front. ALSO, I will be screwed if I don't get another job by Aug. because going back to $7.50 an hours SUCKS HARD CORE!!! I can't pay my rent on that! AAAAnyway...I guess I am just urked at how it has been handled, and how I feel like I am not important enough, when I know I get all my stuff done, even ahead of everyone else and I just get looked past. :0( My boss even wrote up a huge thing about how good I am in this position...what the H-? Well, anyway I am going to try to find a second job that will pay decent so I can make extra money.

#2. Because I will be short a full time job in Aug, alot of the projects I wanted to do are SOL for a while. The road-trip I wanted to plan to Nauvoo might be out because of money, and the little projects I wanted to work on at home have to wait even longer. GRRRR

#3. I love how I am so clueless sometimes. I never pick up on other peoples signals, even when they are pretty obvious. Sometimes I think too logically without thinking beyond reason. I guess its because I have dated some guys who are very logical, and I adapted. I haven't always been so logical about everything, especially in relationships. I love to be that hopeless romantic, but I haven't really had a normal guy who is sorta the same way. Instead I usually get the guys who are very analytical about EVERYTHING and aren't the romantics. I honestly, and I am being honest, wouldn't want someone falling all over me, but a nice comment now and then is always reassuring, and very sweet. I just think it is so important to show you love and interest in small ways because they mean alot. Again, I am sorta clueless though, when guys drop hints they are interested, I usually see RIGHT past it and I almost give the other person a sense that I am not interested, when I TOTALLY am!! This has happened 2 x's now. GRR...then I usually look like a complete dork by texting or calling WAY too much because I am afraid that he doesn't think I am interested so I wanna show I am..but its over the top. LOL

#4. Yes, my time will come. Yes, it will come when I least expect it. But I wish it would happen sooner rather than later. LOL. Ok so I guess the marriage bug has sorta bit me. Just seeing all my wonderful friends married and happy is just an exciting feeling! However, when you are hanging out with them as a single person, you can't help but have the thought of how nice it would be if you had a husband with you too! lol. I don't want to rush it at ALL, but it would be nice to meet Mr. Right soon. Just so I can start to work on the relationship. LOL. I may sound desperate to some of you, (if anyone even reads this..) but its not desperation, again Im in no rush!!!! I can honestly say in confidence that most girls, or some guys for that matter feel the same way I do. I just hope my cluelessness will ease up and I can be more on top of things. LOL

Ok, so I just vented, and I honestly feel so much better! Sorry to be so negative today, but I had to get it out!!!