Adjusting...

Well, I am back in the United States of America. I was on a flight for 12 hours from Duesseldorf, Germany to Los Angeles and was scheduled to fly out on a plane the next morning into Salt Lake City. I was quite lucky though and was able to take the next flight out that night and was moved there for FREE by 2 really nice ladies at United and so I arrived into Salt Lake late late on Sat.
Right away I was able to notice the differences that I went without for so long.
I feel so strange being able to talk to someone and feel confident they understand everything I am saying fluently! I still feel strange when talking to others at a store or something like that.

I must say though, this change is quite sudden for me and I think the reason its so hard is because in my mind and heart I was not ready to come home. I really worked to embrace the European culture because I felt I would not be coming home, at least not for a longer term basis.

In a way, I am glad to be home so I can recover from all the stressful events that happened, yet already there are so many little things that I grew to love and made part of me that conflicts with things where I currently am, but with strength from the Lord, patience, understanding and flexibility I can make it through. I feel so incredibly lost though to be honest. I was struggling a little in Germany as well because I felt that I was in between cultures and discovering my very own. I still feel this way, but I know all of this is to strengthen me in so many ways for the future.

I am going to be going to the temple today in hopes of some added strength and understanding in many areas of my life. I have a tendancy to be impatient, and with recent news I have really suffered in being patient and I get down on myself, the situation, etc. It is something I want to change and make positive and be strengthened because it is what matters the very most to me and I would be lost without it. I know that I am being stretched to the limit and I am determined with all the love I have, with the faith I can be helped and courage to move forward that it will come to pass.

As for being here in Utah, I am so grateful for all my friends and the love and support they offer me. I have had alot of fun being around them and seeing them again after a year.
I will start school this next monday and am looking for a job and I hope that things will be a little smoother in these areas. :) I am excited to start institute up though!!!

I am grateful for my blessing from above and I pray I can live up to the standard I am expected to, otherwise I wouldn't be given these trials.