Thoughts

I just need to blog again. Well, I can definetly tell the difference in when I take my medicine, and when I don't. Yesterday was such a hard day for me. I didn't take my medicine and I started to get angry over the smallest things. I hate relying on my medicine, but it really helps balance out the anxiety.
One thing I have been doing alot lately of, is playing the piano. I love it. It is my escape from the world. Something about a piano and me playing it releases so much emotion and allows my mind to take a deep breath. Most of you who play the piano, can probably relate. A friend of mine sent me a piece of music that I just LOVE. It is called "Le Onde" and it is amazing. I will try to add it on my music so everyone can hear it.
I guess, I am just frustrated with how things are going overall. I want to leave to Switzerland so bad, but at the same time I am going to miss SO much from here and it leaves me in a constant turmoil in how I feel about leaving. I am alone here at night so that is when I usually feel overwhelemed. The only thing I can do, is completely trust Heavenly Father in what he is preparing for me. I know I am supposed to go.
As for guys, I really like one in germany. *surprise* No, he is really fun to talk to, and I am sure we are going to have a blast hanging out for sure! He will be living 2 hours away from me (which I hope won't be a problem if we do decide to date) because traveling is expensive. Anyway, he plays piano like me, he likes the same kind of humor as me, he is cute, and just so outgoing which is great. So there is one reason I am looking forward to going to Europe.
I am frustrated here though in the sense that I have a friend of mine who is way fun! However, I feel like I am being pushed away so he doesn't get attached, when to me, I just want to go with the flow of life. No expectations in anything, and let the Lord guide me. I dont know, it kind of hurts when you feel someone pushing you away. That is life I guess. I do have to respect alot of friends feelings from here actually in me leaving. It is hard to loose a friend, especially for a year. I remember how I felt when my best friend Katherine left back home to Louisiana. It was hard, and I would find myself missing her and our good times. Anyway, overall I am just going with the cycle of life. I want to plan great things for my life but overall let the Lord guide it the way he wants it to go.
Ok, I should REALLY be getting ready for work. *yay*